Name: The Bad Man, Esquire

 Age: Undisclosed

 Gender: Male

 Status: Variable, but let's face it, I sport a fairly open dance card

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Occupation: As seldom as possible

Fav Music: Punk, Goth, Industrial

Fav Bands/Musicians: Einstürzende Neubauten, Throbbing Gristle, Lee Ranaldo, Bauhaus, Arzt+Pfusch

Fav Authors: J.G. Ballard, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Hunter S. Thompson, William S. Burroughs, Lewis Carroll

Fav Directors: David Lynch, Federico Fellini, Michael Haneke, Krzysztof Kieslowski, Atom Egoyan, Peter Greenaway, Alejandro Jodorowsky, Jan Svankmajer

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Likes: Is hate a choice?

Dislikes: People who compare me to future superior reincarnations of themselves.

Motto: Go to church - rest assured you and all your spawn will turn out exactly like me.

Blurb: Excuse me. Oh, oops, sorry, I thought that was "Burp!"

                                                        Are we done taping yet?

                                                                                       Can I go now?