Film: Hook

Directed by: Steven Spielberg

Year: 1991

Starring: Dustin Hoffman, Robin Williams, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins

Reviewed by: J.J.

Holy Shit! J.M. Barrie must have been rolling in his grave at this atrocity. I can't remember the last time I've seen a movie this bad.

For those of you who've never seen it, Robin Williams is Peter Pan. Only, he's grown up and refuses to believe in magic. He spends the first half hour of this piece of garbage denying his past.

That's one thing that always drove me nuts about Spielberg films is that jackass likes to talk down to his audience. He thinks he has to explain something a thousand times and have a million Greek Choruses for us to understand a simple movie. We're not that stupid, Spielberg! Maybe the morons who you surround yourself are, but not us.

Julia Roberts plays Tink, and has the most annoying New Jersey accent I've ever heard. For the record, I never have and never will fuck a woman with a New Jersey accent. I don't care what she looks like. That accent is about as sexy as a woman smearing dogshit all over her body.

After Spielberg made my stomach churn for a half hour, I finally gave up on it. If you like Peter Pan, check out Finding Neverland instead. Zombie already reviewed that one, so I won't bother writing a review on it. One J out of 10 for Hook.

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