Film: Star Wars II - Attack of the Clones
Directed by: George Lucas
Year: 2002
Starring: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee
Reviewed by: JJ

So we're on the same page here, it's clear everyone hates Jar Jar Binks. Does Lucas kill him off? Well, he makes him do something that should get him killed off in the third movie. Jar Jar Binks makes the decision to turn all power over to the Emperor. So it's Jar Jar Binks who's to blame.

Nice one, George. So you're going to kill him in the next movie, right? He gets sliced up like the Black Knight in Monty Python, right?

In Episode 2, Annakin and Padme fall in love, Obi-Wan discovers a secret clone army, and Yoda ponders deep and meaningful things. If you go into this movie without expectations, it's not so bad. After watching the slop that was Episode 1, I had low expectations.

The action is excellent, as always. I'll readily admit that the fat man can direct action. But when it comes to dialog, cover your ears. What's even worse is when Annakin and Padme start getting romantic. It's probably been twenty years since the fat man got his last romantic encounter. I'll give him that. He's probably more romantically attracted to hamburgers and fries than women, so when he directs romance on screen, it's best to look away. It's a horrible sight.

The other part worth skipping is whenever Annakin goes emo on us (I learned a new word from today's kids so I might as well use it). I've heard from other movie buffs that Christensen can act. I believe them, because I know that the fat man squanders talent. He has some excellent actors to work with in Jackson and Portman here, but they, especially Portman, look like amateurs here.

As I said though, the action is excellent. It's worth seeing for that alone. George, you've partially redeemed yourself with this one. Now, if you kill Jar Jar in Episode 3, I'll be happy. Five J's out of 10.

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