And onto… “The Hitcher (2007)”. Okay, so I'm not going to tell you whether I liked this film right off - yes, you'll just have to wade through the carnage that is this review to find out.

First, I'm a big Rutger Hauer/Jennifer Jason Leigh fan. And yes, the original 1986 "Hitcher" was released while I attended university and was a good fun slasher thriller flick in its own fairly lame right. I generally abhor remakes, and sequels. I wasn't expecting anything much but the usual teen horror crap with this remake, and was surprised when I discovered that it was nearly a shot-for-shot remake of its 21 year old father. Now in that 1986 film there were more continuity errors and gaping oozing plot holes in the first 10 minutes than I could keep count of on all my fingers and toes. This screenplay rewrote a few of those pussing wounds, but was pretty much otherwise an exact scene, shot, and dialogue rip-off. With one big exception - this one boasted a female lead.

After getting over the shock of the writer's audacity to attempt a tired shot-for-shot copy of a film that frankly didn't need to be copied - perhaps didn't even need to get made in the first place - I settled in for the ride. The car crash scenes were well done and the production value matched the medium budget (who funded this trash?), and the gore was good and gooey. Being familiar with the first version as I watched it a few weeks ago to prepare for this shoot-out I was surprised at the subtle but effective licenses they took in working out some of the more glaring plot missteps - I wasn't expecting any new thought to be invested. One example is the family in the station wagon that the antagonist character, well played by Sean Bean, slays in the beginning. In the original there would have been no time for Hauer's character to kill the married couple and their two children and vacate the scene, because the protagonist was driving too closely behind. In this remake the two leads played by Sophia Bush and Zachary Knighton had run their car off the road, and were walking along the desert highway when they came across the station wagon with the slaughtered family. Makes a helluva lot more sense, eh?

I think the casting was good with the bad guy played by Brit Sean Bean bringing on a sinister malevolence fairly equal to Hauer's, albeit without his sexual presence, like with the licking the dirt off that movie's lead played by C. Thomas Howell. Another example of this more intimate side of Hauer's acting portfolio can be seen at the end of the quintessential film Blade Runner wherein Hauer and Harrison Ford's characters do their dance. But he (Bean) is adequate for this job. Also more than adequate is the lead cop, Lieutenant Esteridge, played by bright eyed Neal McDonough.

For me, the film is an interesting study in Kierkegaardian existentialism. We are asking, as are the characters, why the Hell the evil John Ryder (Bean) character doesn't just ice the young couple (Bush and Knighton) already. The story ensues as a game of cat and mouse, with Bean always one step ahead of the couple, and they are looking more and more like cop and citizen killers in the process - what with all the dead bodies strewn in their wake. The point here is Bean's character, an existential uberman, is a metaphor for empowerment. How stuck are we in our Politically Correct social ways? How much pushing do we need to take justice into our own hands? How do we perceive justice and what role (if any) does the established fascist police state play in actually serving justice, or for that matter in protecting innocent people from injustice? All valid exploitations, er, explorations, in this wonderful modern-world nightmare we've constructed for ourselves.

So what's worth talking about here? The female lead, Sophia Bush, that's what. She plays the role well, and unlike most teen horror flicks she IS the actual lead, not just pretty eye candy to be mutilated in the first or second act. As the film progresses, her character Grace Andrews evolves into a gun-toting ass-kicking vengeance-seething vixen; I couldn't take my eyes off her. Starting with wardrobe - those guys should get a bloody academy award for doing it right for a change. For pretty much the entire film she's wearing a tight brown lacey tanktop over a turquoise bra with a jean skirt - much too short for her father to approve of - and black boots. The skirt is exceptional in that we do get several decent panty shots; three of which are rewind-and-pause worthy. The actress Bush stands 5 feet 6.5 inches tall, so she's my ideal, with dark brown hair and light hazel eyes; perfect in the Marilyn Manson goth-boots I bought her at Hot-Topic last week. Another plus is she just got her marriage annulled last December - "hey, Bush! Give me a call!" hollers BadMan. That's me.

Like Alien and a handful of other good films with female leads, this one is worthy and it gets super high ratings in the hot department - unlike the gruesome Sigourney Weaver - if I have to see her in panties and t-shirt sliding into her space suit one more time I'm gonna hurl.

Here are some visual exhibits to back up my premise:

Bad Man's Rating: 6 out of 10

(only due to Sophia and her wardrobe, I must admit. Otherwise it'd get a 2)

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