Bon Jovi’s Slippery When Wet

My favorite album and also one of Beethoven’s favorite works.

Let It Rock: What a way to kick off an album. David Bryan’s intro makes keyboards sound as cool and ferocious as a guitar. The vocals are killer and the attitude is bombastic. Richie Sambora’s got enough electricity in his guitar solo to light up Las Vegas. This is one of the coolest and most underrated rock songs. I wish I could see Bon Jovi play it live.

You Give Love a Bad Name: An unforgettable and powerful chorus and another high-voltage solo make this classic timeless as the gods.

Livin’ on a Prayer: You get Richie’s smooth talk box, the biggest chorus ever, and an inspirational story to lift you up, even if you’re a paraplegic midget.

Social Disease: A nice opening riff, cool vocals by Jon Bon Jovi, and another rejuvenating solo.

Wanted Dead or Alive: Once upon a time, bands were legends. They would take over a town in a night without firing a shot. This song is the essence of the rock and roll badass. This is the most brutal and adrenaline-inducing solo ever. The last verse is scripture. Jon and Richie just done wrote the greatest song of all-time.

Raise Your Hands: A good arena rock song that does what music is supposed to do: make you feel good. This was the first song I heard to give shout outs to cities. Now every rapper follows suit.

Without Love: A melodic song with great harmonizing. You don’t have to be in love to appreciate it. I was in elementary school, and I didn’t know a goddamn thing about love, but I still liked it.

I’d Die for You: You get some strong keyboards in this one. You hear the power and emotion in Jon’s voice, but it sounds good and not like a pansy emo. Death to the emos.

Never Say Goodbye: This is a beautiful ballad with sweet reminiscences. Together Forever! Good words. Loyalty. Something Fredo Corleone should have understood. If you can find it, there’s a really cool version of Richie singing this song.

Wild in the Streets: And the boys end the album with a bang. Big chorus, big keyboards, big guitar. How can you not be happy after listening to this?

-El Pirata Diablo