pretentious critics movie blog

In reading the other reviews people certainly seem to hate this remake. Normally I side on hate in these debates as it’s far easier to hate than to love - just ask my ex-wife; she’s a pro. But I found myself instantly enamored with the lead damsel played fairly well by TV actress Sophia Bush. Unfortunately we get to see no bush, and there’s a perfectly good shower scene with - OMG - NO TIT!!! What is up with you people?!? An “R” rated movie with boatloads of hacking and blood spewage but not a single nipple to be found frolicking about anywhere. Except in the supplemental DVD material where an alternate ending shows some random murdered couple on a bed, but the dude’s white cottage cheese ass fills most of the screen while underneath him an equally rotund pasty white chick lies very naked and very dead - not a pretty sight.

For me, the film is an interesting study in Kierkegaardian existentialism. We are asking, as are the characters, why the Hell the evil John Ryder (Bean) character doesn’t just ice the young couple (Bush and Knighton) already. The story ensues as a game of cat and mouse, with Bean always one step ahead of the couple, and they are looking more and more like cop and citizen killers in the process - what with all the dead bodies strewn in their wake. The point here is Bean’s character, an existential uberman, is a metaphor for empowerment. How stuck are we in our Politically Correct social ways? How much pushing do we need to take justice into our own hands? How do we perceive justice and what role (if any) does the established fascist police state play in actually serving justice, or for that matter in protecting innocent people from injustice? All valid exploitations, er, explorations, in this wonderful modern-world nightmare we’ve constructed for ourselves.

So what’s worth talking about here? The female lead, Sophia Bush, that’s what. She plays the role well, and unlike most teen horror flicks she IS the actual lead, not just pretty eye candy to be mutilated in the first or second act. As the film progresses, her character Grace Andrews evolves into a gun-toting ass-kicking vengeance-seething vixen; I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Starting with wardrobe - those guys should get a bloody academy award for doing it right for a change. For pretty much the entire film she’s wearing a tight brown lacey tanktop over a turquoise bra with a jean skirt - much too short for her father to approve of - and black boots. The skirt is exceptional in that we do get several decent panty shots; three of which are rewind-and-pause worthy. The actress Bush stands 5 feet 6.5 inches tall, so she’s my ideal, with dark brown hair and light hazel eyes; perfect in the Marilyn Manson goth-boots I bought her at Hot-Topic last week. Another plus is she just got her marriage annulled last December - “hey, Bush! Give me a call!” hollers BadMan. That’s me.

Like Alien and a handful of other good films with female leads, this one is worthy and it gets super high ratings in the hot department - unlike the gruesome Sigourney Weaver - if I have to see her in panties and t-shirt sliding into her space suit one more time I’m gonna hurl.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 at 9:20 pm and is filed under Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.